So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
