I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
