I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize