also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
