Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
