Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize