When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
