i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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