No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
