don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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