note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize