My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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