She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
