hotel room ftw
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Success! We fucked roommates!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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