You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
