people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
