Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
