No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize