Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
