am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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