I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize