Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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