if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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