i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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