I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
