Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
