there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think I am morally bankrupt
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
