just come out here and I will go home with you...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We need a shit load of segways right now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
