I'd wear matching sweaters with you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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