Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
