dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My vagina just recognized that song.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
