Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
