You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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