eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
