Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
did i just pee glitter
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
