she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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