i was born a porn star she said
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
