i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
