1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
