More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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