just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
