I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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