Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
