Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
