god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
