I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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