Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
