Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
