After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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