bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
