so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
