evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
