thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
