no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
