Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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