it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize