Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
