your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize