I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
