A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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