but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
operation harelip BJ is a go
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
