I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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