she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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