they need to just BURY HIM!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize