I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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