I wanna bring you to show and tell
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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