Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
