i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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