If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize