how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize